so...how did you two meet?

A new one in the series about demystifying Orthodox Judaism...Jewish dating!

I know a lot of you wonder how these super-religious people meet and marry, what with their separate seating, schools, synagogues, events, etc. (in case you weren't aware of it, let me fill you in: men and women occupy almost completely different spheres in our world. I haven't spoken more than 2 words to most of DH's friends, nor he to mine. We went to a wedding together and I had to call his cell when it was time for us to go. I hadn't seen him since we arrived, several hours earlier.) Anyway, the answer is both simple and complicated: We date.

This blows some Christians away, as many of them have eschewed dating as an immoral, worldly practice. Not so, say we. Our dating just looks very different. How? let me list the ways:

1. You already know quite a bit about your date before you meet them. You were probably fixed up by a professional, who looked at your respective dating resumes and decided you two were a good match. You each then got to look at the other's resume (and possibly photo) and decide for yourself if you were interested. If yes, the meeting is arranged.

2. Participants do not touch. EVER. Until they're married.

3. Feelings are not discussed, but life goals, children, where you want to live, religious practice, politics are all discussed, maybe even on the first date, which is a big no-no in the secular world.

4. If you date more than 2-3 months without getting engaged, it raises eyebrows. This is a fish-or-cut-bait kind of thing.

5. It isn't unusual for a person to have multiple first dates with different people in one weekend.
especially if they've traveled to that town expressly to go on dates.

Some of you have no doubt heard that Orthodox Jews have arranged marriages. What I've outlined is how things work in 99% of Orthodoxy. Yes, there are really extreme sects that arrange things and the girl and boy only meet once or twice before the wedding, but it's really, really rare. And Jews have a less than 10% divorce rate, so we must be doing something right.

thoughts? Questions? Anyone?

East meets West, or Israel meets Italy

Pizza is a new universal, you can get it anywhere, even Africa. Iraelis LOVE pizza. For Kosher reasons, we don't put meat on it (Dairy and meat don't mix), but you can get it with all kinds of other things. I've tried Falafel pizza in NY, which sat like a rock in my stomach (like all falafel does), but I've been very curious about something I've only seen here in Israel. Corn pizza. No kidding. I've seen, or rather, smelled Tuna pizza, but there's no way I will eat something that smells that foul. Corn seemed unusual but do-able. So, since my parents are here, and my dad is as silly as I am, we got half a pizza with corn on it, just to see what it was like. Here's how it looked:
Here are the pre-eating reactions to the idea of Corn Pizza.
My Husband is clearly excited. And silly.
My father is clearly proud of himself. And also silly.
After eating, the reactions were mixed. My daughter was not impressed, but ate all of hers. She likes pizza, but doesn't seem particularly drawn to the corn aspect:

My dad was confused, clearly, from this picture:
But he didn't spit it out like Gordon Ramsay on Hell's Kitchen, so that's good. My husband was also indifferent. I believe his quote was "I wouldn't avoid it at a party, but neither would I seek it out." I Felt that it did little for me, and if I'm paying extra for a topping, it's going to be more cheese or olives or onions or something. Corn just isn't a stand out on pizza, it's just extra calories. Not too odd, but not something you'd find in the average Domino's either (although it is in the Domino's here)!

new house, new kid, same old me.

Yes, I know it's been ages.

Yes I have good reasons.

See, isn't she cute? And FOUR FLIPPING WEEKS early?

5 days after she was born we moved into a new apartment.

2 weeks later we're still mostly in boxes.

Oh well. At least I got my Redhead!

Edited to add: We named her Devorah.

Reflections on traveling with a toddler...

So, we survived the trip! The plane was not so bad, thanks to Benadryl, but they did lose our gate checked stroller in London (how do you do that??) which we didn't get back until our way BACK through Dulles going home. sigh.
3 days in a car with my good-natured kid? piece of cake. seriously. the 4th day was pretty bad however. We arrived in Washington State at my Parent's with a trashed SUV (crackers and dried formula everywhere) Naked Child (well, she had a diaper on. I didn't have the will to dig out clean clothes from one of our 7 suitcases after her diaper exploded in Eastern Oregon), and two parents with only one nerve left after nearly being blown off the road in Wyoming and nearly being blocked from our end destination by state-wide flooding in Washington. WOW.
It was pure joy to see my parents interact with their only grandkid (for another 6 weeks at least) and be so silly and permissive and un-parent like! Sigh. and I never had to worry if I wanted to leave the baby home, because you know G-ma and G-pa WANT to keep her there!
I've many thoughts about America in general, but I'll save those for another post.

the funny-looking cup

We had some non-jewish friends visit from England recently. After one came out of our bathroom, she asked, "what is the funny cup with two handles all about? We've seen them everywhere here." It was then I realized that most people have no clue how OJ's live literally according to the Bible. G-d says, the Rabbis explain, We do. Simple as that. (well, not always simple, but at least it follows, logically) So, when G-d commanded us to Wash our hands before we eat a meal and after we go to the bathroom, we believe he meant it. The question becomes HOW? I've seen many people wash their hands in public restrooms (or not...ewwww!) and everyone has a different way of handling it, that's for certain. So, we have a set way of doing it that has been around for centuries, that way, everyone is equally clean! That's what the cup is for. Just in case you've never seen one, this is what they look like:
Some are fancy:

Some are not so fancy: They all have two handles, one for each hand! This washing process is also called Netilat Yadiaim (Hebrew for washing hands). When you wash after going to the bathroom, you wash with soap first (like normal folks should) Then you hold the filled cup with the handles facing you in your left hand and pour the water on your hands alternately 3 times (3 on each hand). Then you can dry your hands off and say the blessing after leaving the bathroom. When you are getting ready to eat a meal (with bread) you fill the cup, but pour 3 times on your right, then 3 times on your left. After this you say a blessing for washing hands (Blessed are you L-rd our G-d king of the universe who has given us the commandments and commanded us to wash hands) and then silently go back to wherever you're eating and say the blessing for bread and have your meal.
What to do if there's no wash cup? Just wash your hands and put them under the running water the correct way. Or find a drinking cup or other vessel and do it that way. It's better to wash in some way than not at all.
Now you know! Feel free to ask for clarifications!

On going back to America

Life as an ex-pat isn't easy. In fact, it's darn hard a lot of the time. Don't get the wrong idea, I love living in Israel, am glad we emigrated here and are raising our Kid(s) here, but sometimes you simply long for the familiar. Like Wal-mart, Target, Safeway (or any real grocery store), Starbucks, etc. And it's hard to be separated from all of your family. Most people who move here have at least some family, but we really have none, and it's been an uphill battle to build a support system here. I still don't have a good babysitter in walking distance. My best option just got engaged, so she's off in la-la land for a while.
But we are going back to the US for a visit in one week. I'm going a bit berserk thinking about traveling in my 3rd trimester with a one year old (Thank G-d the Rabbi is coming!) but I'm really excited just to be "home" with my family for a while. I know it's just a different set of difficulties in America (no kosher meat, or Jewish Milk, having to drive again, instead of walk everywhere, etc.) but at least I will be dealing with people in my native language (and hopefully theirs). And everything is so cheap there (except Jewish stuff, which is very cheap here) that we will be testing the limits of our suitcase allowance with shoes, clothes, Ziplock bags, crystal light, sponges, kitchen knives, high-threadcount sheets (220 is really high here), and anything else I can think of that is really expensive or unobtainable in Israel, but cheap in the US. In exchange I will be bringing Olives, Pomegranate products, Za'atar (Israeli spice), scarves, etc. for family and friends.
So, here's to the exchange of consumer goods, but also to the joy of having 4 generations living on the farm again (however briefly), my daughter being charming to all our friends, getting to feel my BFF's baby kick her tummy, because it will probably be a while until I get to meet him in person, hugging my other BFF because she's going through a tough time and Skype just doesn't cut it, watching my parents play with my daughter, their first grandchild, going as a family to the aquarium for the first time, and everything else. Oh, and if you believe in Prayer, think of us as we drive across the country in Early January with our one-year-old who's longest car trip to date has been 2 hours. Yeah, we're nuts.

smells like Hanukkah...

So this will be my third Hanukkah in Israel. When you live in the states as a Jew, you get inundated with Christmas stuff, with only the obligatory equal-access Hanukkah decor (usually on a tree, ironically enough).
In Israel I see nary a light, santa, reindeer or hear a carol, unless I go near the Christian Quarter of the Old city, since people here are mostly Jews, Muslim, or Secular. But Hanukkah? oh yes!! 9-branched candelabras are everywhere, convenient oil/gel inserts in the proper number on every corner, and in every Makolet (corner market) there are boxes of fresh Sugnafiot (jelly donuts). And if you live close to the Shuk (like i do!) you can walk down the lanes of stalls and admire rows and rows of still-hot sweet treats, and even a few places frying up latkes. It smells like heaven! Even though I've got every excuse to fulfill my cravings, I try not to buy any until the week before the holiday, or I'll get worn out on them, even the caramel ones that I have dreams about! Last year, my DH brought them to me in the hospital after I had our daughter! But smelling all the goodness is calorie and guilt free! and sometimes I go a few blocks out of my way just to walk down the bakery row and inhale the sweet smell of Hanukkah!