You cleaned your what?...Why?

In a continuing effort to amaze my non-Jewish readers, I am going to discuss the most stressful event of the Jewish Year, Passover. Why is this holiday so stressful? you would think Yom Kippur would be the stressful one, not eating or drinking, 5 prayer services in 24 hours, your last chance to get in good with the higher power for the year...but no. It's the cleaning for Passover (Pesach in Hebrew) that nearly does in every Jewish woman, and many Jewish men, every year.
Let me explain what has to be done. Everything you own must be gone through, cleaned and/or gotten rid of if it contains Chametz (any of the 5 grains or their derivatives, like grain alchohol, citric acid, etc.). Pasta, unopened bags of flour, most medicines, and a whole host of other things must be used up or thrown out or possibly ritually "sold" to a non-Jew for the duration of the holiday. All your dishes, utensils, pots, pans, and appliances must be cleaned thouroughly and put away in sealed cupboards. every surface in your entire home must be wiped down with caustic cleanser (bleach works well) including under the beds, Under the Washer and dryer, under the refrigerator and stove, on top of the fridge, etc. All books taken from bookshelves and shelves wiped down (I found 6 cheerios and a ton of crumbs on our bookshelves this year). Strollers cleaned out, high chair completely cleaned, the list goes on and on. after everything you own is perfectly clean, you go into your kitchen and really get down to work. All counter tops have boiling water poured over them, all cabinets are wiped out, your sink gets really boiled and bleached, your stove and oven treated by torch to burn away any remaining chametz after cleaning them. If you can, you torch your pots to make them perfectly clean of chametz, although many people just have a Passover set of dishes, utensils, and pots. then you cover everything in heavy-duty foil (heaver than anything I've ever seen in a regular grocery store, like tin-pan heavy) until it feels like you're cooking in a space ship. Buy new dish drainers, sponges, and other kitchen accoutrements (if it's touched hot food during the year, it must be replaced for Passover) then you're ready to start cooking for Passover, which is it's own challenge. But that's another post...
Just so you can see, here is what a passover kitchen might look like (not my kitchen, but a good example)

the funny-looking cup

We had some non-jewish friends visit from England recently. After one came out of our bathroom, she asked, "what is the funny cup with two handles all about? We've seen them everywhere here." It was then I realized that most people have no clue how OJ's live literally according to the Bible. G-d says, the Rabbis explain, We do. Simple as that. (well, not always simple, but at least it follows, logically) So, when G-d commanded us to Wash our hands before we eat a meal and after we go to the bathroom, we believe he meant it. The question becomes HOW? I've seen many people wash their hands in public restrooms (or not...ewwww!) and everyone has a different way of handling it, that's for certain. So, we have a set way of doing it that has been around for centuries, that way, everyone is equally clean! That's what the cup is for. Just in case you've never seen one, this is what they look like:
Some are fancy:

Some are not so fancy: They all have two handles, one for each hand! This washing process is also called Netilat Yadiaim (Hebrew for washing hands). When you wash after going to the bathroom, you wash with soap first (like normal folks should) Then you hold the filled cup with the handles facing you in your left hand and pour the water on your hands alternately 3 times (3 on each hand). Then you can dry your hands off and say the blessing after leaving the bathroom. When you are getting ready to eat a meal (with bread) you fill the cup, but pour 3 times on your right, then 3 times on your left. After this you say a blessing for washing hands (Blessed are you L-rd our G-d king of the universe who has given us the commandments and commanded us to wash hands) and then silently go back to wherever you're eating and say the blessing for bread and have your meal.
What to do if there's no wash cup? Just wash your hands and put them under the running water the correct way. Or find a drinking cup or other vessel and do it that way. It's better to wash in some way than not at all.
Now you know! Feel free to ask for clarifications!

Birthday Update

Because it's my Birthday today, I thought I'd do 7 things you may not know about me as I was born on 7/7/78. I was going to do 30 (as that's how old I am now, ACK!) but my attention span is too short for that.
Without further ado:
1. I have worked A LOT of different jobs. In Chronological order: Thousand Trails bathroom cleaner, After school care worker, Nanny, Chef at assisted living home, Taco Bell, Subway, Sears, ASB secretary (paid position), Pea Tenderometer operator (not joking), Carrot QC, Admitting at a hospital, Nanny again, Balloon artist, Camp videographer, After/before school enrichment teacher, Summer intern for UGM at-risk program, Preschool Admin, Videographer again, Kmart Checker, then photomat operator, Children's activities coordinator, Janitor, High school teacher, Hebrew language teacher, and now, seamstress. wow, I'm tired.

2. I am the only Jew I know who grew up on a Christmas tree farm.

3. I am late a lot, but I hate being late. it stresses me out, but stuff always happens to make me late, especially now with the baby. argh.

4. Someday I'll write about it in more detail, but I had a curse. Boys who liked me fell horribly ill (6 that I know of), guys who proposed ended up dead (fortunately only 2). My DH is in perfect health, by the way.

5. I loved performing in Opera and Musical Theater. I still sing selections for my daughter, although singing for mixed company is out for Jewish Modesty reasons. I just might audition for one of the all-women for-women groups here in J'lem. when I have spare time. ha.

6. I didn't hit puberty until I was 14. then I went up 4 cup sizes in one summer. Talk about an embarrassing return to school. you should have heard the rumors fly...

7. I have a sad, sad addiction to Mt. Dew. I know it's AWFUL for me, and nearly impossible to get here, but I still manage somehow. If anyone feels like being an enabler, they can mail me some!

My thanks to all those who commented and emailed to see if I'm OK. I;m feeling better, but they still haven't figured out why I fainted so much. I've got an appointment to go over my Med history with an American Doc next week and get orders for all the tests, so I'll keep you all posted as to the results. Meanwhile I'll post my Matza ball soup recipe sometime this week, which will cure you of anything!